Best insult

I know 5 fat guys and you are 4 of them

I spontanously said this to a worker a few weeks ago: Did your mom feed you with corn starch instead of breast milk?

Couple years back at my last job "I'd tell you to kill yourself, but you'd probably fuck that up too" Haven't heard anything colder lol

Poor Terry.

"Working with you is like working alone - just much harder." "You look like an answer to a question nobody asked." "You work like you're getting paid by the mistake."

I always liked, "How many times did piss on the toilet seat before someone told you to lift the lid?" from The Green Mile.

“I know you’re trying your best, but could you try someone else’s best instead?”

My co worker told my boss at a Company meeting, to "tell us the truth, I'll know when your lying, because your lips will be moving!", things when quiet. Everyone laughed, and they gave my partner and I some shitty jobs outside in the snow.

"I can explain it to you but I can't understand it for you."

In Germany we say: "Wenn du mit anfässt, dann ist es so als ob zwei Andere loslassen." Which means: "When you're involved it's like two others are letting go." And I think it's beautiful.